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Sunday, February 19th, 2006
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Yeah it's been forever since i've been here, myspace took over everyones minds! So let's see where to start...I live in SF still for the time being and now have a new job. I'm a "booking agent" for John Robert Powers and now i only deliver pizza for Pizza My heart in SM on Sundays. Me and joey danger are starting to jam productively again after almost a year of holding off...I miss all of my old friends who seem to be all spreading apart and what not, but i guess that's just the way of life. I'm finally also coming to conclusions for this screenplay i've been writing...and i just also realize that i have no days off next week...BOOKED...you work hard..you play harder
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| Time: | 2:44 am. |
| Mood: |  productive. | | Music: | wednesday - a better armed tomorrow. |
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jump inside a confused mind,
tear it, confuse it, drain all that's left
brainwash the heart of the blind,
stab it, control it, step on the rest
walk across a love field of mines,
love it, walk it, lose all your limbs
smile and crawl the endless lines,
beat it, cheat it, nobody wins
tides of the waves are surely unspoken,
but so many hearts left dead and broken
the time of the future says to change our ways,
the light of your life shine making better days
~anthonykort~
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| Time: | 10:23 pm. |
| Mood: |  hopeful. | | Music: | who da funk?. |
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What's the best thing about the Scorpio-Capricorn love match? Their determination toward shared ideas and their strong devotion to one another. They can open doors to one another's souls and show one another new ways of perceiving and feeling.
*Sigh* i want to tell her....
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i'm sick of the lack of time i've had off work...but am also sick of everything else. The whole high school vibe and how people distort what you say, like the game of telephone...and they ruin everything before you even get a fucking chance to do anything about it....fuck them all. Fuck the bullshit...
I just found out that my friends who died on their way to vegas two weeks ago were really going to get married because his girl was pregnant....they were doing the right thing and were punished for it..it's fucked up how this world works. Nice guys finish last, people that don't deserve to die so young die first....Dennis was a good friend...that always looked up to me...
fuck
~anthony~
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Thursday, June 23rd, 2005
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RIP Dennis James Flores of Corona Ca, former guitarist of my band stitched lips....
pic
http://myspace-672.vo.llnwd.net/00138/27/67/138267672_l.jpg
more pics on his sisters myspace link which is...
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=12984020&Mytoken=20050623114807
Three teens on way to Las Vegas killed on I-15
INTERSTATE 15: Their truck hit an embankment and rolled. There is one survivor.
12:30 AM PDT on Wednesday, June 22, 2005
By SONJA BJELLAND / The Press-Enterprise
BARSTOW - Two Corona couples heading to Las Vegas crashed, leaving three of the teenagers dead Tuesday.
About 9:30 p.m. Monday, Dennis James Flores Jr., was driving a 2002 silver Toyota Tacoma north on Interstate 15. Leslie D. Barrera, 17, and Jonathan Martinez, 18, were riding in the extended cab while Claudia Juarez sat in the front passenger's seat.
Flores, 18, drifted into the center divider and made an abrupt right turn, said CHP Officer Daniel Pence. The truck ended up on Interstate 40 and hit a dirt embankment.
It began to roll, ejecting Barrera and Martinez who were not wearing seat belts, Pence said. Barrera died at the scene.
Martinez and Flores died Tuesday morning at Arrowhead Regional Medical Center in Colton, according to the San Bernardino County Coroner's Office. Juarez was treated and released from Barstow Community Hospital.
Pence said the investigation continues and he is waiting for toxicology and autopsy results.
Tasneem Farooki, a friend, met the group while going to Centennial High School. Barrera and Juarez remained Centennial students, she said. On Monday morning, she briefly talked to Flores but didn't know about the trip.
Juarez called Farooki about 3:30 a.m. Tuesday and Farooki drove to Arrowhead Regional to join her friend.
Farooki said she called Martinez's family to tell them what happened.
She described the couples as spontaneous, good, caring people who spent time together finding things to do.
"I guess the whole Vegas thing was one of them. I don't know," she said. Now she is helping Juarez and other friends cope with the grief.
"Just making sure she knows it's not her fault -- it was God's decision," Farooki said. "We were all just there for her."
rock on....you were a brother to me....i'll never forget the memories... ; (
11/25/86 - 6/21/05 RIP
~anthony.....
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Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
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Hello, I’ve waited here for you, everlong
Tonight, I throw myself into and out of the red, out of her head she sang
Come down and waste away with me, down with me
Slow how, you wanted it to be, I’m over my head, out of her head she sang
And I wonder when I sing along with you if everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I’ll ever ask of you
You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when she sang
Breathe out, so I can breathe you in, hold you in
And now, I know you’ve always been out of your head, out of my head I sang
And I wonder when I sing along with you if everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I’ll ever ask of you
You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when she sang
And I wonder if everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I’ll ever ask of you
You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when
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Friday, December 24th, 2004
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So..I knew that this relationship was too good to be true...it eneded so suddenly...*sigh* i miss her.
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Sunday, November 28th, 2004
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music to my ears,
can I buy you a drink?
a shot on the rocks,
fill it up to the top
don't hold out on the whiskey
drinking up some beers,
see it helps me think
a beer bongs enough,
fill it over the top
now I can think clearly
no more drink and drive,
we need to stay alive
to drink some more
then we'll pass out and hit the floor
now you are free,
to walk among the clouds
to live life, the dream,
no cry and no scream
don't forget the bacardi
my dear fidget, see,
she was always there for me
you took her away,
I had so much left to say
she was taken away without choice,
yet I still here her voice
echoing on throughout our lives,
helping us stand, helping us fly
if she was never here,
i would never be
filled with so much cheer
she made us all happy
now you are free,
free to roam the skies
dream and sleep pleasantly,
the stars still show your eyes
give me a drink, i'll take seven
so i can be closer to you, up in heaven
where we'll just chill and kick back,
forgetting about our heart attacks
yes, we'll be there singing with bradley too,
hanging out with the dead and gone crew
skating along the clouds together,
the skies would be the best of weather
though you're dead and gone, you vibe
high in the clouds, buried alive
and i'm still singing with you
~anthony~ (i miss you)
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inbetween the commercials of a flick,
come join me with a cancer stick
a step closer to heavens gate,
or the firey pit, I slipped too late
these times are the times to remember,
so we'll know that we don't live forever
oh, puff, puff, talk it up
smoke more, i never had enough
puff, puff, smoke it up
talk and laugh about things,
not givin' a fuck
it's so nice to see your face again,
covered in smoke, fuck your trend
all the kids with the straight edge x,
just a cover up to get some sex
you come in here and say we blow,
fuck you, then don't come to my show
oh puff, puff, laugh it up
don't let them say you had enough
puff, puff, take a hit
don't take that straight edge shit
~anthony~
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Friday, November 26th, 2004
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there are times likes this where i'm feelin low,
but i still always have those places to go
places where i go to think,
places where I sit by myself next to a drink
and if I just so happen to look at you,
i only hope that you look too
and I see you by yourself in a red dress,
drinking away, leaving at home the mess
down to the bar to get a drink,
into the red dress my eyes sink
and if you're feeling so...of the low,
baby i know which way the tongue flow
baby I know, good ways the tongue flow
there are nights where there's know where to go,
but i still go to the bar after the show
and I see her by herself, all alone,
i'd call her up, only if I had a phone
i'd show her up, down, left and right,
and we'd kick it up, all day and all night
wearing it low to show your thong,
that's what made me write this song
down to the bar to get a drink,
into the red dress my eyes sink
and if you're feeling so...of the low,
baby i know which way the tongue flow
baby I know, good ways the tongue flow
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Thursday, October 7th, 2004
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Yeah, I disappeared from the internet for a while due to my shitty living situation. I've been working my ass off to make something of what they call life after high school. Once you turn 18 responsibilty is thrown at you like a ton of bricks from all different directions...yeah it fucking hurts. I have been up here in the san francisco bay area for the past 3 months and am due for another LA visit. I miss all of my friends down there...i hope they miss me, if not...then are they my friends? Meh...me and pat are trying to form together a band with a unique sound, something we haven't quite attempted yet - so it should be cool. Working a week straight 13 hours a day sucks terribly. I'm going to santa cruz this friday with pat to a kegger, so I guess that is my weekend. I want to see shaun of the dead, EVERYONE ELSE HAS FUCKING SEEN IT EXCEPT ME....bleh. I miss acting class suprisingly..it was my form of therapy letting out certain anger and emotion through my characters...maybe i'll look into it when I have time...*sigh* I won "Most likely to succeed" for my drama class and now look at me...i need to fucking act and play in a band...
~anthony~
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Friday, August 27th, 2004
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no words can explain the way I feel,
only hint to what is real
I love the way I taste your kiss,
burning forever my lips miss
the way you smile,
your beautiful eyes
the way you laugh,
the way you cry
the feeling I get when you're in my arms,
drunk, lost and away from all these harms
the way we can always relate,
is this real, or is this fate?
the way our eyes connect so well,
only remind me of a fairy tale
the way you think,
the way you blink
is the way you make my heart sink
~anthony~ - -;;
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Sunday, August 15th, 2004
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I swear sometimes your taking me for granted.
I swear sometimes that your a whore.
I swear but I know there ain't no reason
'cuz everything is such a bore
Last night I had a dream,
lord it made me sick,
saw you in your bedroom suckin' someone elses dick
(my goodness!)
My friends all laughed,
said it was my fault,
said it's time that it happened to me,
but i know that the show was much more than a blow,
so I'm waiting for the tide to get low,
waiting for the tide to get low
"damn, now lick my balls"
"The rhythm, the rebel"
"the young hefer"
"the rhythm, the rebel"
"I said suck the mother fucker, your bitin' it, shit!"
If I was an ant crawlin' upon the wall,
tell me baby,
would it make no difference at all?
If I was a roach on a tree tell me,
would you smoke me?
Bright lights put me in trance
but it ain't house music,
makes me wanna dance,
word,
I don't gamble but I bet
I'm gonna die if I don't get a cigarette,
just because I always play the mac
put the monkey on my back,
mmmmhhmmm
((that's what i'm talking about))
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Thursday, July 15th, 2004
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| Freudian Inventory Results | Genital (66%) you appear to have a progressive and constructive outlook on life.
Latency (36%) you appear to have an irrational view on the value of learning.
Phallic (80%) you appear to have issues with controlling your sexual desires and possibly fidelity.
Anal (40%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity.
Oral (50%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence.
| Take Free Freudian Inventory Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
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and then there comes this wasted time,
where I just can't control my rhyme
watching all the lively people drink it up,
hopefully by the end of the night we'll get fucked
and I see you smokin it, tokin it, pass it around
I can't believe all the love we found
smoke it and toke it, then pass it to the right,
if we keep going like this we'll floatin all night
I saw you looking at me from the corner of the kegger
you could tell by the look in her eye that i'd have to beg her
it dont come easy as it use to, I felt her breeze and felt her too
I couldn't let her leave without getting that number,
so I chased her down, and said
baby lets chill this summer
you tell me to look over but i'm blind,
so I asked the guy next where I can find
that well endowed chica with glossy lips,
so I can watch the way she sways her hips
and I see you smokin, tokin it, pass it around
I can't believe all the love we found
sway it to the left, and then to the right
show me those hips move, carress me tight
I saw you looking at me from the corner of the kegger
you could tell by the look in her eye that i'd have to beg her
it dont come easy as it use to, I felt her breeze and felt her too
I couldn't let her leave without getting that number,
so I chased her down, and said
baby lets chill this summer
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| Time: | 11:33 am. |
| Mood: |  horny. | | Music: | Antidote. |
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Thursday, June 17th, 2004
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Hey, I was a little worried in the end about graduating and all...getting in all of the last minute extra credit to pass english and foods (they just had to make it first period huh?) But now the whole drama bullshit highschool is over. Graduation was kind of boring because of our square principal and our cheap, fucked up speakers that kept gving out half of the time. It was sad to know that I wouldn't see certain people for quite some time, or maybe even never again...*sigh* but life moves on I guess. I should probably go back for the ten year reunion, see what the hell happened to everyone, lol, see what hot girls got fat and pregnat, see which nerds became rich. My mom drove down all the way from Tracy with my grandma just to see me graduate and to eat dinner. We ate at the macaroni grill - it was pretty damn good, I just wish there wasn't so much parent drama. Everyone begged for me to do my monologues that I won awards for out front after dinner. I hesitated but since my sister and Nolan was there, I did it. Since they were both dramatic and violen t parts, the people surrounding got kind of scared and told security..who came up saying "The cops are on their way, there can't be loud arguing out here" we all began to laugh as i said "no no no, it was just an act" and he didn't believe us..but then my grandma talked to them and they walked away. It was sort of one of those "had to be there" kind of things, but it was cool. I did "All My Sons" and "I Just Wanna Tell Somebody"
Graduation PartAYS
Cole Riders partay
I went to this guy "Cole Rider's" party down in el cerrito. It was a good fucking party, there were a few kegs, and even a fucking bar where my friend ruby was serving any kind of drinks. There were hundreds of people from all around, some people I knew, some I didn't...but that didn't matter - I got all fucked up and me and my friend justin were all falling over eachother. Some piss ass drunk guy spilled beer all over me, but it was all cool. They had the hump dancing thing going on but I was just chillin with my friends, getting some points from all the chicks around. We were hot boxing my car when the sherrifs rolled up but they didn't see us. (In the rush to get out of the car the cd player was flung from my lap to the street...RIP cd player and self title Sublime lp...*sigh*)I had an experience with mushrooms earlier that day, I was glad when I came down...damn I was trippin...Laater i was speeding and zig zagging through all of the planters at the albertsons/jack in the box parking lot - that was fucking fun ((all a night with michael stark))
Phillips Ranch PARTaY
I unexpectingly gave my friend Carlos L. a call up (my friend from 1st-8th grade) and we went party searching that night. We found a chill party in phillips ranch, righ by where I used to live. I saw people I haven't seen in like 5 years at this party. Matt Epperson, Matt Caropino, David Pilon, and fucking Corey Spangler! Damn they all fucking grew, it's scary that we all came from a catholic school and turned into drunk stoners. At first the party was kind of dull because there were parents and shit, but then everyone started to call up their friends and that's when things went down. I got this girl melissa's number who was really HOT. It was good times....there was a DJ but he kept fucking up, but everone was too drunk to care, I was pushed into the middle of the dance floor where I felt numerous body parts jiggling over me...it was interesting, and i'd probably do it again if I was drunk - bu that would be the only time.
SublimeISH Band
This summer i'm looking to start a reggae/punk influenced band, I need someone who can do bass and drums, the singer and guitar playing can be covered. I started to write out some lyrics, and I hope things pull through. The name might be "Zeugma" I got it from my language arts class...it means to join together into one meaning while still meaning two. I thought it sounded like a good name for a band like this....*sigh* this is all for now kids...stay tuned for more next time
CLASS OF 2004 BITCH!
~Anthony~
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waiting here on this night feeling all alone,
spending every night doin the same old ho
i get all jumpy when I hear the phone,
let's take a midnight ride, baby lets go
come sleep with me
leave all your worries, and smoke this spliff
(smoke dat spliff)
and we'll ride that midnight train,
all night, all night..until it rains
I saw you with that guy again,
you still don't think I know
she can't keep her legs closed,
what a freaky scandolous ho
let's take that train all over town,
when we're done there's no more frown
oh~
just come with me
leaving all your worries, come smoke this spliff with me
(smoke with me)
and we'll ride that midnight train,
all night, all night..until it rains
~anthony~ (sublime style lyrics)
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| Time: | 10:46 pm. |
| Mood: |  thoughtful. | | Music: | Zen Robbi - The midnight ride of poncho villa. |
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My Friday and Saturday consisted of the Long Beach Competition for my drama class. I did a monologue called "All My Sons" of where my character "chris" finds out that because of his dad, 20 of his men have died in a mission because of cracked engine heads just because his dad did it for the business. It is strongly emotional and I practically spazzed out while I was performing it. Right before each performance my hands would clench and my breathing would be heavy...but it wasn't from nervousness...I had a big argument the morning on friday with my "business man" father.
The ending of my monologue "All My Sons" by Arthur Miller
"FOR ME? where do you live? Where do you come from? For me? I was dying out there every DAY and you were killing my boys, and you did it for me? What the hell do you think I was thinking of...the goddamn business?!! Is that as far as your mind can see? What is it the world, the business? What the hell do you mean you did it for me? Don't you have a country? Don't you live in the world? What the HELL are you? You're not even an animal...no animal kills his own. What are you? what must I do to you...jesus, god what must I do?!!"
There are the ending lines to the monologe. Right when I stepped in front of the judges, I felt as if I was possessed by the character in an enraged state..I could picture the captain father standing there with this look on his face, while I slowly went insane. I even had a hint of double vision. While acting I get too much into the character I realized..but that's a good thing though. I look up to anthony hopkins who is of the greatest actors of this time, the dedication he has is overwhelming. To my strong suprise, I made the final round with 10 other people....it was like a movie when I found out..my buddy evan ran holding his arms open and we hugged while he yelled "ANTHONY YOU MADE IT!" it was a good feeling I guess to make it...I almost passed out after the final round. My fists were shaking uncontrollably because I could just picture the useless father standing there giving me bullshit excuses of why 20 of my friends were dead...for the business... I couldn't unclench my fists..they were locked, my hands were shaking uncontollably, and then I was also almost hyperventalating....it was totally unexplainable...
This band called "Zen Robbi" played in the quad at cal state fullerton a little while before the announcements of the "winners." They were really fucking good to put it flat out. Being a band from the Long Beach area, there was a sublime sound in their cd, but they still kicked ass - great musicians, lyrics and cool people. I got a free cd for "rocking out" for them right in front. The lucky drummer got beads from a hot chick...good for him. I will forever keep the cd in my possession and even keep contact with those guys...because life is too fucking short and you want to meet all the cool people you can and live it while it goes...
We ditched the improv workshops at longbeach...jeremy, ashley, krissy, ralph, krista, greg and I had a fucking stupid sixth grade memorable truth or dare game when we bored out of our minds chain smoking cigarrettes...I saw a few nipples, some girls touched their tongues, I made ralph do a shirtless handstand on the edge of this monumental fountain, greg humped the college map really loud and enjoyed it in front of people, ralph yelled at some guy that he thought he was cute because krista couldn't think of something better to dare him to do, krista had to kiss me, and all at just the flip of a coin....It may sound immature, but we all still have youth inside of us in certain places, and sometimes they will randomly jump out...sort of like a cracked out kid on caffeine. We all went to denny's that night (not the one that me, kyle, and travis dine and dashed) it was cool I guess..I have a feeling that this girl Krista likes me..but she is just a little younger...I don't know.
I've been stressing a lot lately...just strung out really in lack of energy to push my body to its needed amount...I need a good fucking night of sleep for once. I've been filling in parts of my boredom with random shit I normally wouldn't do...I don't feel that i'm sinking to a "lower level" or anything like that, just filling in the empty slots of the day...the blank colored pieces of a puzzle that don't make the picture but are needed there to complete it still...
farewell to all...
~Anthony~
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chinocyco's journal
creative.
annoyed.
depressed.
drunk.
high.